Glen is destined for greatness. At least, that’s what his parents always told him. His singing voice peaked early, and by tenth grade he was a regular performer at school. Doors flew open in many churches. But greatness is a reluctant patron, and Glen’s ascent stalled. Now in his thirties, he just doesn’t understand.
“My dream was simple,” he says. “I just wanted to use my gifts to serve God.” But for Glen, serving God had a specific script, composed by him, which included recording contracts and touring. “Why can’t people recognize my gifts?” he laments.
Glen has dreams that seem godly, at least to him. He says he wants to use his gifts “in the service of God.” But Glen’s motives are mixed and he only gets honest feedback from one person–himself. His friends at church think he’s gifted, yes, but probably reaching too high. They’re reluctant to talk to him, though, since they don’t want to discourage his dream. And he never asks.
Imagine you’re Glen’s friend. What does he really need? Everybody cheering him on? More people telling him he can be whatever he wants to be? Or somebody honest enough to wisely question his dream through some objective assessment? Awkward situation, huh?
Find Friends To Stay Sober
Wherever there’s a gift, there’s a limit.
Glen’s story is pretty common, especially in the church. There are Glen-musicians, Glen-songwriters, Glen-preachers, Glen’s are all around us—and sometimes within us. One of the undeniable realities of life is this: Wherever there’s a gift, there’s a limit.
That’s why, even if our motives are godly, we all need the mirror of a thoughtful, gracious, but realistic assessment of our gifts from those who know and love us. We need others to help us think of ourselves “with sober judgment” (Rom. 12:3). We need friends to keep us sober. About our gifts. In fact we need to choose some friends because we know they will do this.
Though I can relate to Glen’s struggle, I have learned an important lesson: Recognizing the limits of my gifts actually frees me of the head-banging burden of trying to do something God hasn’t intended for me. It also allows me to appreciate the diversity of gifts God has placed around me. God gives us gifts to help define our field of service. As Ed Clowney observed, “Your sphere of action, your ministry in the service of Christ, is marked out by the gifts Christ has given you”. We discover and refine these gifts in community, not alone in the desert under a cactus. In talking about the church, Paul says, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you’” (1 Cor. 12:21). God makes it clear: We need each other!–particularly when trying to discern the field of service for our gifts.
Be A Leader Who Seeks Sober Assessement
The sooner we get this, the easier life will be. But it can take a while, especially for us men. Permit me to let you in on a little gender secret. While women have two X chromosomes, men have one X, one Y, and one “I-would-rather-drive-into-another-time-zone- than-ask-for-directions” chromosome. This extra chromosome is so dominant that a guy can be three states past his exit and still be looking for the shortcut. That kind of behavior is so irrational it has to be genetic.
There is something inside us, especially us guys—and most especially us guys who have the responsibility to lead in some capacity—that doesn’t want outside help. It’s that inner fool that so often wants to come out and play. To ask for help is a sign that I’m lost, needy, wrong, and desperate—things that are all true, but I would rather lose a lung than admit it. In the moment, driving until we run out of gas seems so much more appealing. But asking for help is better and more biblical.
Grace never comes to the proud. It comes when we humble ourselves and ask for the help we need. It comes when we invite others to assess our leading, our preaching effectiveness and our care of souls. We need the help of others to function fruitfully.
Are you Glen? Do you know Glen? Most likely, we should answer “yes” to both questions. If we want to lean into our gifts and lead others to wield theirs, let’s aspire to truly know ourselves accurately, both our strengths and our weaknesses. If you want to use your gifts to their fullest capacity—including the gift of leadership or teaching—ask a friend to hold up a mirror.
Today’s Tenacious Questions
What are your strongest three gifts? In what ways are those gifts limited or weak? Put it another way—how could you continue to improve those gifts? How can you continue to “fan into flame” what God has given you? Do you have anyone around you who can give you honest and helpful input—anyone who can hold up the mirror? What could you do to foster a healthy culture of “mirroring” one another’s gifts in your community?
Prayer
Great God, you have wisely created me with limits and imperfections. I do not always understand what they are, why they are, or how I can glorify you with them—but I know your strength is made perfect in my weakness. Please help me live humbly within the boundaries you have put upon me. Let those limits push me to trust in you and rely on others. Glorify yourself in me. Amen.
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