Problems for Christian leaders (and really, any leader) don’t typically start with self-awareness. It’s the wrong kind of self-awareness. The excessive kind.
Sometimes, Paul’s words in Philippians 2:5 to “look not only to [your] own interests, but also to the interests of others,” can be misread to mean, “Okay, all I have to do is just stop thinking about me.” But that isn’t what Paul is talking about. Counting others as more significant than ourselves assumes we’re already considering our interests. The issue comes down to how we think about our interests.
Real Humility Does Not Erase Self-Interest
Paul clearly links our ability to act in humility with an awareness of our own interests. The key is that we’re not looking only to our own interests. Paul is advocating for rightly ordered interests.
Elsewhere, he instructs believers not to think of themselves more highly than they ought to think, but rather to “think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3). For Paul, a leader’s problem isn’t having self-awareness—it’s having the wrong kind of self-awareness. It’s the kind of internal interest that loses sobriety, moves Self to the center, and diminishes the personhood of others.
True humility, then, is not a renouncing of self-stewardship, but seeing ourselves with both faith and sober judgment, then living a life that assigns significance to others and increasingly acts in their interests.
How can we develop rightly ordered self-awareness? Do we just need a bit more time for introspection?
Real Humility Straightens Self-Interest through the Mirror of Community
The Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “Mirrors were discovered in order that man might come to know himself” (Quaestiones Naturales, 1.17.6, 8, 10). The call to know ourselves is good and right—Paul would agree—but we need to move beyond the image of mirrors.
Personally, I’m not a big fan of mirrors because I don’t often like what I see. But there’s another issue with mirrors: a built-in limitation. Have you noticed that most mirrors don’t show your whole body? Good or bad, we only see our front. The picture we have of ourselves is always partial. And have you ever noticed that we use mirrors most when no one else is around?
Mirrors made by human hands often isolate us from others. What we see remains confirmed to our own interests.
What if we saw Christian community as the opportunity to enjoy a mirror—to reflect to others what we see and invite the same from them?
I think the best way to upgrade our self-awareness and assess our self-portraits is through the perspectives of living mirrors. We desperately need the eyes and words of others to help us form a healthy and informed self-perception.
We’re all the same. I’m guessing there are some things about you that your friends are aware of, but maybe you’re not. God has designed us so that we need each other to get a complete picture. Without help from others, we’re often blind to what we do and why we do it. We are formed in community, we learn wisdom in community, and we see ourselves most accurately in community. If we stand alone, we fall.
Find A Mirror
Humble leaders find the right mirrors—and use them regularly.
Do you know what I’ve found? Selfishly ambitious leaders are terrible at self-arithmetic. When they “count themselves,” it’s always more than almost everybody else.
I’ve seen it in my own life. When I live in my house or my church or at work as “King Dave,” I become blind to my faults and limits. This is why I desperately need the eyes and words of others to help me form a humble self-perception. I need peers to be mirrors.
If you want to lead in a humble way that builds others up and sets an example of godliness, you need help. You just can’t trust that your own self-evaluation is an accurate picture. Without trusted input from others—mirrors—your humility will be self-informed. And that’s a contradiction in terms.
We all want to lead with God-glorifying humility, but we don’t always know if we do. My advice? Get a living mirror. And consult it often.
Today’s Tenacious Question
Do you have people in your life who know you well enough to help you fill out your self-image accurately? Do you invite them to? Try to come up with five names—then start inviting feedback.
Prayer
Lord, you have not given me this position of leadership because I am all-wise or all-sufficient. I am imperfect, very needy, and desperately lacking in self-awareness. Please surround me with godly people who will help me steward the position you’ve given me for your glory and the good of those I lead. Amen.
Photo by Rishabh Dharmani on Unsplash
